they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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