I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
