bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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