u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
