I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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