you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
