your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
