I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Randomize
