i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
