Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Someone came in the potted fern
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
