I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need to calm my uterus...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
