Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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