Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
