is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
