Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
