dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
