i just google imaged poop.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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