We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
