her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
