Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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