If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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