billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i think my cat just said my name.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
