ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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