Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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