I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
