oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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