If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
