I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
