Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
