had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
