I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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