hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
