K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
