im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
