i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
