his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
