Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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