we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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