Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
