i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
