Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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