Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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