gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
