There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
