We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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