so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
