I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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