There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
