you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
