As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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