Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
