People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
