y did u give ur computer a hand job?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
